| "What's better fast or slow?" | |
| "Fast." | |
| "What's something that's fast?" | |
| "A cheetah." | |
| "And what's something that's slow?" | |
| "My grandma's slow." | |
| "Would you like it better if she was fast?" | |
| "I bet she would like it better if she was fast." | |
| "How could you make her faster?" | |
| "Tape a cheetah to her back." | |
| "Tape a cheetah to her back? You've thought about this before haven't you?" |
Omg. This was too cute.
“Can you help me, Daddy?”
I went to church with my family tonight and the pastor said something that I think every Christian should hear
| Pastor: | Now, according to a few passages in the bible, homosexuality is a sin. |
|---|---|
| Couple of older males in the audience: | Amen! |
| Pastor: | Now, wait, I'm not finished. |
| Pastor: | You know what else the bible defines as a sin? Divorce. |
| -uncomfortable silence- | |
| Pastor: | There are countless passages that talk about how divorce is wrong, and that there are consequences to getting a divorce, such as the wife should be stoned. |
| Pastor: | Yet, I witnessed a divorce just this morning. And I gotta tell you, it was heartbreaking, but I definitely didn't attempt to throw rocks at the wife, even though she was the one who filed for divorce. |
| Pastor: | We choose to overlook the consequences of divorce because time has proven that they're inhumane and cruel. |
| Pastor: | The bible doesn't say anything about the consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Yet, we seem to be spearheading a campaign to ruin the lives of people we don't even know. |
| -the pastor shifts a few notes around- | |
| Pastor: | The bible states to love thy neighbor. That's it. There are no other rules or restrictions to that passage. |
| Pastor: | So, we as a church family have to support equality with a smile on our face. THAT is the true Christian way. |
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